Say Goodbye

When I saw it in the garage, I thought he had probably been the last one to ride it. I think he bought it for the grandkids, and for him too. To me, it was a symbol, something fun they could afford to do now that the kids were out of the house, something to do for him, after so many years of doing so much for everyone else. All at once, I wanted to sit on it, to feel close to him, because it was hard for me to feel close to the man inside the house, the man who was dying, and I didn't really feel like I had much claim on him anyway. I hoisted myself on the seat and started nosing around in the pack on the back of it, and when I found it, I started to cry. It was a box of Macintosh Toffee, a special Canadian treat that Rodger loved. Finding that toffee in the back of the four-wheeler was like finding a piece of him.

And I sat there, letting the tears come, and I mourned the loss of my father-in-law.